What Kind Of A Jew Are You?

Recently, I had a discussion with a good friend about a serious issue.  He was grappling, he said with the question of “What Kind of a Jew are You?”  How is it that we define ourselves as Jews?

Many of you know that I am fond of saying that in 21st century America, all of us are Jews by choice – that is, whether you are born Jewish or convert to Judaism as an adult, each one of us has to actively choose Judaism because it is much easier to passively choose not to make Judaism part of our identities today.  The question of “What kind of Jew are you” -  Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, Renewal, Secular, Atheist, other – is on the one hand a question of identity, and on the other hand, an issue of where do I feel comfortable.  For instance, we have some members who were raised in Conservative or Orthodox congregations, but feel much more comfortable with the worship style and the community that exists here at Temple.
    
My friend had been raised in a culturally Jewish home, with parents for whom Judaism was about family get-togethers on Hannukah and Passover, and he attended a public school that had lots of Jewish kids.  Recently though, after a personal crisis, he has been doing a lot of soul searching and is looking for a deeper, more spiritual connection to his Judaism.

Yet, as he explains:  I attend services but I can’t understand anything that is said in Hebrew.   Philosophically, I am very liberal but I want to be observant and I’m not sure if I can find a place where that works.  I want to share good Jewish values and ideals with my family but I don’t know where to begin.

As our discussion unfolded, I began to see that my friend is certainly a person who has come to value being Jewish, and who is also actively struggling with what that means.  I commend the seriousness with which he is struggling, and that rather than back away from it, or use it as an excuse not to actively choose a Jewish identity, he is persevering.

By the end of our talk, we came to this conclusion: More important than the question of whether one is a Reform or Orthodox or Conservative Jew is a first question: what does being Jewish mean for me; and this second question: how do I go about living Jewishly according to that definition.  By continuing to ask and to wrestle with the questions, one becomes a serious and committed Jew, who finds his place in the community by living out those values and ideals that are part of our beautiful heritage.  By continuing to study and learn about the gifts of our tradition, history and culture, and how these guide us in modern life, one begins to feel comfortable and proud of where he is Jewishly.  And in the end, it is the struggling and searching that are most valuable, because this continuously offers him new perspectives and definitions of what it means to him personally to be Jewish.

How do you define yourself as a Jew?